Avoid These Common Dead Giveaways
If you are serious about having an affair, you need to make sure you don’t get caught. We have a few common telltale signs that you will need to try to avoid unless you want your partner to learn what you’ve been up to.
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Your new email account that your partner doesn’t know about and general computer safeguards.
The first step with your computer starts with alternative windows. If you’re going to be writing emails to this new love interest in your life, from home, you will need other windows open on your desktop to maximize in front of your emails in case your partner suddenly walks in. A simple sport or news page would be enough, depending on what you’re normally interested in. If you have a Hotmail or other free email client you’ve been using for years and your partner knows about it, use the same site for your new email account to the new person in your life. This way, if your partner glances at your screen, she shouldn’t notice it’s a different account. If she does see you checking your emails and you quickly remove the page from your screen, she will know you are trying to hide something from her. It is all about the timing. Change things around before she gets into viewing distance.
DO NOT save your username or password for your new email account to your computer. If your partner is suspicious and decides to have a look on your computer while you’re at work (which we all know many of us would if we were suspicious), she shouldn’t be able to just go to the website and have your username and password fill-in automatically. This is especially important if you have a shared home computer.
Try to avoid long emails to your new lover. If you need to close the email window, you won’t be losing a ten paragraph love novel and have to start again.
Using Instant Messengers on your home computer and SMS on your phone.
Instant messengers (IMs) and text messages (SMS) are the most common ways of being caught. Go into your IM Options and set it up so that it does not automatically save your messages onto your computer. If you have a shared computer, your partner could easily come across your saved messages to your new lover. Make sure you delete all corresponding SMSs from and to your lover and check your phone doesn’t keep a log of incoming and outgoing calls. Pre-paid cell phones are the best option. Prevention is better than cure.
Your scent after a clandestine meet.
If you have had a rendezvous with your lover after work, you need to make sure you don’t have his or her scent on you when you arrive home. Your best option is to keep your normal deodorant spray or perfume in your vehicle or at work for after these sessions. Also, make sure you don’t smell like sex when you get home and do not go rushing off to the shower as soon as you walk in the door.
Name calling during sex.
There is nothing worse during sex with your partner than calling them your new lover’s name. If you’re not sure if you’ll be able to say their name or their pet name without thinking about it, you may need to concentrate a little more during sex. Having an affair isn’t supposed to be easy work! Remember, when she’s hitting your spots and you moan “oh Sarah” when her name is Abby, it will NOT help you keep the affair secret.
Accusing your partner of cheating.
Many people may feel guilt when they’re cheating on their partner and will often want to insinuate they think their partner is cheating on them. You need to avoid this as it will definitely lead to the question being reciprocated and if you flinch, you may find a very suspicious partner lurking for several weeks after this.
Receiving gifts from your lover.
The last thing you want is for your partner to find some dazzling necklace or sexy pair of underwear in your pocket or in a box and ask where you got them. This is another situation where you need to either be on-the-ball or have already thought up an excuse of where anything came from. It is best to try to prevent this kind of confrontation by keeping any gifts at work or elsewhere where your wife doesn’t usually visit.
Giving gifts to your lover.
One of the biggest mistakes you could do is buy some pretty jewelry or some roses for your lover on your credit card because this will come up in your credit card bill, will be obvious you’re buying gifts for someone else. Cash is always best. If you don’t have much cash, try to buy something for your wife/partner at the same time from the same place. Something that looks like it should cost as much as the bill is so if/when they see the credit card bill they see there is something there from “I Love Roses Ltd”, you will have your tracks covered.
Using protection during sex.
This is the era of safe and responsible sex. You should keep your condoms in your desk or locker at work, get your lover to keep them with them or just buy smaller packs. If either you or your partner are on the Pill, your partner will get very suspicious if they happen to find half a packet of condoms in the compartment of your car or your pocket or wallet… especially if the expiry date is a fair distance away. Also ensure you discretely dispose of condoms (a used condom under the backseat of your car is a dead giveaway. If you are using condoms with your partner, do not take any from the packs at home to use with your lover as your partner is probably keeping count.
Love marks from your lover.
Whenever you can, try to avoid having too much rough sex with your new lover if it leaves marks and scratches. Love-bites or hickeys are to be avoided at all costs. These can be very hard to hide from your partner and to explain. A simple “I walked into a door” does not work! Bitten lips can be excused with dry cracked lips or, if bruised, tell them one of your colleagues threw you an apple at lunch and you didn’t catch it… it’s worth a shot, especially if you go on about what they said and how stupid you felt not catching it.
Wear your wedding ring.
Always keep your wedding ring with you. If you don’t want your new lover to know you’re married, simply putting your wedding ring in your wallet or on your other hand would usually suffice. If you stop wearing your wedding ring to work, your partner will notice so do not do this. You should have a checklist in your head for when you arrive home. Check your scent, your collars for lipstick smudges, your clothing is as it was when you left home (tucked in shirt, tie is on etc) and your wedding ring should be on your left hand.
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