Things that remind you... songs, movies, etc.

Having A Discreet Affair » General Affair Discussion

Things that remind you... songs, movies, etc.

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Started 9 months ago by bigheart_girl
Latest reply from kitykatt

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bigheart_girl
Member

Everyone has things that remind them of their lover and they will go crazy when they hear it.

First time my lover and I made love Radiohead's "Fake Plastic Trees" was playing. A month later, his girlfriend asked me for coffee and I joined her... we walked into a store, and that song was playing. I stopped in my tracks and my jaw dropped. I felt like I was being haunted by karma. Now every time I hear that song I get mad and frustrated because I'm doing so good forgetting about him... but sometimes I'm haunted.

This song is about an affair and it touches me deeply. Sometimes I feel this way.
"forget about your house of cards, and I'll do mine"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nTFjVm9sTQ

but lately, I'm feeling more like this about my lover:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zix4Cu6Jj5A
I listen to that one to remind me of the truth of it all.

I know this is what a lot of us do "living in your letters"
ahh. the lyrics on that one get me. I try to avoid these songs lately...
So if you're sensitive now, don't listen to this one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CquRuyT1HY0

Has anyone seen the movie "Little Children?" It's with Kate Winslet, and it's a well told, very realistic story about an affair. Very accurate, and great story. I would recommend watching it. I watched that film before I had an affair. Back then, I knew I was going to do something eventually. It's funny how intuition works.

What songs/movies remind you of your lover and why?
Has anyone noticed how many songs there are about affairs? I've never noticed before until now..

Posted 9 months ago #
bigheart_girl
Member

Who else who is having an affair uses facebook? It drives me crazy to look at pics of my xlover so I don't even bother. I nearly deleted him after our last arguement. If I look at pictures of him it makes me miss him...but then I was thinking... if I only miss his looks, maybe it was just lust. I'm not sure. I've confused myself. Seems to me that love is temporary.

Posted 9 months ago #
Sparkle
Member

I used to have loads of songs that reminded me of my ex-lover, Clarence Carters 'Slip Away' used to be one.

My ex-lover and I are still 'friends' on Facebook although I think even that is dying a death now. Kind of sad, but what can I do? Funnily enough, he has a habit of posting links to songs on his Facebook page, and does it most days as he works in the industry, and I now always giggle whenever I see him post this one. So poignant, and his wife who is on facebook too, doesn't know the real meaning.

Its by a band from Glasgow in Scotland, so their accents are quite hard to understand. Therefore I am posting the version with the lyrics too (although if you cant understand how they're written, as its written in scottish slang) go to the next link for the proper lyrics)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJiRbj-2ilA

Written lyrics - http://www.metrolyrics.com/its-my-own-cheating-heart-that-makes-me-cry-lyrics-glasvegas.html

Brilliant song, and seeing him post the link to this does make me laugh :)

Posted 9 months ago #
the skeptic
Member

If you ladies want to really cry, play I miss you by Clymaxx , go to youtube a song from the 80s. that song made me cry at least a couple times. I did my crying and then moved on !
Cant dwell in the past for long !!!

Posted 9 months ago #
the skeptic
Member

actually the group's name is spelled Klymaxx

Posted 9 months ago #
the skeptic
Member

actually the name of the group is Klymaxx

Posted 9 months ago #
underHISspell
Member

Kelly Clarkson's song Already gone. He sent it to me when we were in the middle of a "break-up". Back together now, but I still can't listen to it without crying, I know he still has some of those feelings from the song. Listen to the words.

Posted 9 months ago #
underHISspell
Member

here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVZaA2s7xYI

Posted 9 months ago #
Cheri
Member

The last time I was with my guy, he had a CD on and I asked him to make me a copy.. Now when I listen to the songs we were listening to I wonder why he would pick that CD to have on with me.. There were songs about wanting to be more than friends and such..

He knew what songs were on that CD so why????

Posted 9 months ago #
bigheart_girl
Member

My heart skips a beat when I see someone that looks like him from behind, or if I see a car that's just like his, I practically hold my breath. I guess the feelings are still lingering. If I hear from him, I still respond. I am definitely not fully in control, so it seems. My emotions are.

Posted 9 months ago #
the skeptic
Member

Cheri , you are seeing more than it is there.

Posted 9 months ago #
Cheri
Member

Yeah I know skeptic that is why I don't listen to it very often anymore.. I now listen to angry breakup songs that I can sing while thinking of what an ass he is LOL

how is that for waking myself up :)

Posted 9 months ago #
Anonymous
Unregistered

Takes a minute for the words to start, but this about sums it up (esp the lyrics @ 4:00). :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72NOtY8Iffc

Lyrics:

You're so moody
Stand there
All I wanna do... is touch you
Oh Yeah
Hey sexy beauty
Why don't you step to me?
That's how it's got to be
Make it good for me

I feel you moody baby
Oh Yeah

You're so moody
When your near me
You make me silly
That thing you do to me
Leaves me so groovy
Moving our bodies
This is not the time for messing around
All I wanna do is... get moody
Oh Yeah

I feel you moody baby
Oh Yeah

Now I'm moody
And it's plain to see
That I want your body
Riding up and down on me
Take me home and love me
Let me make you to juicy

This is not the time for messing around
All I wanna do is... get moody
Oh Yeah

I feel you moody baby
Oh Yeah

Posted 9 months ago #
bigheart_girl
Member

Liz Phair "Why Can't I"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4QiSL4V0sE

It's more-so about the beginning of an affair. It reminds me of the infatuation stage when my relationship started.

Posted 9 months ago #
bigheart_girl
Member

This song is like my affair...although, I'm drawn to him, I don't go back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBiGrHc0Xy4

Posted 8 months ago #
torchforRA
Member

too many. I try to avoid all of them now.

The one that jumps out is "Bridges of Madison County" - I recommended she watch it. We talked about it a lot. I can't see it any more.

I'm so sad over this. I realized this morning that it is really and truly over. I cried in the car on my way to work. The first real cry i've had over her. I guess I realized that hope died this week. And it all came flooding out.

Bigheart...you gotta let it go. Stay away from the triggers.

Posted 8 months ago #
debra61
Member

I left it go and it is swarming all around me as of lately - The Italian pulled his car out as soon as I pulled in for work. He is toying with me again...he stopped behind my car and looked his famous look at me. I got out of the car and went to my house without looking back...wish he would stop the fronting and be real.

The song that remind me of the Italian is Sister Moon. Every encounter we had was on a full moon night. I have huge blue eyes and a round baby face...a line in the song is
Sister Moon come be my guide - your cool cool shadows I would hide. I am a stranger to the sun my eyes are too weak...or My Mistress Eye's are Nothing like the Sun - My hunger for her explains everything I have done. To howl at the Moon the whole night through I go out of my mind before you. He did make me loose touch with reality...still interesting though to share the experience with other's who have been there done that.
Done - No Contact - I am doing well!!!!! Finally.
Song's can coax the devil back out of you...as I recently experienced. I - like you -Cheri are playing mostly angry distant songs...they help the pissed off over life feelings. I do question WHY? Why? deb

Posted 8 months ago #
torchforRA
Member

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

But you still have

All of me

Posted 8 months ago #
debra61
Member

Go call her today Torch - Did you read my post to you about doing just that. What the hell Men are the King's who hold the key to the Kingdom...The Italian is hunting me again. I am not into him for the mere fact that if he does not trust himself - how can I trust him. I can not...He is the vindictive type - I saw him get dark with me over the husband and I on the air mattress surprise...if he fell for me he would tell my husband and his wife - I question myself if that is what I would want from him...NO!!!!

When you take on a lustful love...you take on their lives. It is fine - if you know what you want and what you are going to do to make it work out if the conclusion is far different from the song's playing on the stereo. These songs do not talk finances or homes or logistic's. Loving Freely is a hopeful mindset best left in the lyrics for me. deb

Posted 8 months ago #
torchforRA
Member

I have no way of contacting her, Debra...he changed all her phone numbers. She does not have a direct line at work (nor her own office). The only way I could contact her is to write a letter to her at her job (and hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands), or drive down there and hope that she's at work and catch her coming out the door -- the problem? 2.5 hours drive each way and It would be hard to explain to the wife why I was at least an hour late coming home. Only other option? I have her mother's phone number, and she knows what's going on, but I don't know if that would be a good idea or not.

Believe me, I would've contacted her by now if I could.

but I'm giving up. she knows what she's doing to me. And is doing it anyway. Fuck her. I'm done.

Posted 8 months ago #
debra61
Member

Sweety - I am so sorry - I would have called you to at least conclude kindly or resume a level of contentment during the holiday's...After I "hurt" the Italian when he started to feel the need for me...I felt bad that he got indirectly angry when his plan of seeing me in my back yard did not work out. I am too sensitive - he did become a dark force on my horizon. Oh but when I went back to soften this frantic but spiteful situation that I caused him for not committing fully to me - he made me pay!!!
I am too soft. I should have left it alone after he saw the display of hubby and me on the lawn by the fire. I only wanted to send the message to him that it was not nice to play with me gregariously. I went back several times to his Studio to see him...He gave me the loving sweetness I wanted then snatched it away only to send the "got you back" message. I sent anger and revolt out back to him then apologized for being pissy to him and that I only missed him so much that I anger when he is arrogant but that is what I love about him. NOW with that said - I Cut Him OFF. Totally.
He is staulking in a silent manner. Leo's love to hunt. I gave him a soft pillow to ponder and lay with quiet thoughts for the moment. The Frantic Holiday madness at his restraunt has come to a close...soon - he is wondering if he can get me to come on his turf again to make for easy hunting. You see we played that game for fun and frolic...feeling's are the last thing either of us needed in these desperate times.
You - are into this women so intensily...it is not a game of chance for you. It is real.
If you are late for dinner than you are late. Christmas Shopping perhaps? A holiday party that cropped up? I am saying that if you want her as bad as you profess then go for it. Call her mom and ask to contact her somehow. You are in such pain then get it going. I only got the pain in my heart when he started to sense that I became important to my FWB. I am laying low to see just how important I am...If I am not then I will say what you said...f____. him...but to tell you the truth after thinking through this liason...I could do better. If he left his world for me I would have to take on his $ horrid debt and questionable dealings...not a great catch. I would go more for a Doctor or a Lawyer even an Indian Chief. deb

Posted 8 months ago #
nys_co
Member

TorchForRA: You said it best. "Fuck her. I'm done". What else can you say? That's it.

Posted 8 months ago #
debra61
Member

nys_co - Hey, I am with you nys but, the man is the creator of his own destiny. If he is going to hurt unrelentlessly then he should give it a go.

I on the other hand have broken off this mess for my own sweet comfortable life with out the torcher he inflicts on me purposely - this I am aware of.

I just want to see a lifetime story of the week unfold - Richard Gere carries Debra Winger out of the Factory...Men choose their destiny...We seem to go along for the ride. deb

Posted 8 months ago #
debra61
Member

May I add - I went through my affair with a blindfold on...thank the Lord for Winter Winds. deb

Posted 8 months ago #
nys_co
Member

Debra61:

I understand that point, unfortunately. I've always been the one, once my mind is made up to extract a person from my life, that's it. Done. That person is out of my life for a very long time.

I can't speak for TorchForRA. He's got to do what HE needs to do. Instituting NC and FEELING the impact of silence imposed by NC - are awful, awful things. I hate doing it and I hate receiving it.

Posted 8 months ago #
bigheart_girl
Member

TorchforRA... I'm so sorry that you're so sad. I really feel you pain. Some days are paralyzing for me. I cry in the shower, in the car. I have no desire to work, eat, have fun, talk to people. I feel like he sucked the life out of me. It's physically painful as well... shortness of breath. If only they knew what they were doing... but having contact again with them would start it over again. I think that they are going through the same withdrawl. My x used to say that I was like heroin. He knew I wasn't good for him, but he could never get enough. I agreed with him. Well, I'm definitely feeling the withdrawls, and I hope he is too. I'll probably never know. I hope that someday, later in our lives, that we might be able to reconnect. We'll see. Right now I'm just riding out the winter. Feels like LIMBO, pergatory. I feel miserable 90% of my life...

If she is ignoring you to that extent, it is because she has true feelings for you and is doing her best to not put any more fuel on the fire. Temptation is hard to resist. I hadn't seen my x in over 2 months, and he got a job at a place I drive by everyday. So, after a few weeks of seeing his car everyday, I just got the impulse to break the silence and tension and I decided to stop in and bring him his favorite chai and tell him "congrats" on his new job, and that I wished him well.. then I left. It made me feel better to wish for his happiness. Ever since, he's made some attempt to be friendly with me. I'm still distant.

I honestly think that it's better to have no contact with her. What I have figured out about this affair thing is that we idealize our lovers. They are everything we're missing in life, and we're not complete until we have them... well... we thought the same about our spouses, and look what happened with that! So, this is mostly in our heads. If we had them, it would fizzle, just like any relationship. We seek that rush of chemicals: adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin. So technically, we're all addicts! LOL. We are addicted to the way they made us feel, and now that they're gone, we miss that "high" that we got. I still miss my x-lover and I think if things were different, it could've worked out... but I probably would've ended up kicking his ass at times for being rude.

I would like to go back to not needing or wanting anyone. I see why people become shop-a-holics, drug addicts, collectors, etc... Those things are obtainable. Love is found, then lost. Lust exists then dissipates. We try to hold onto things after they're gone because we can't let go. Life seems to be a series of letting go, so I am trying not to hold onto anything. We never really HAVE anyone. Owning and having are an illusion. I'm married to my husband, but he doesn't have my love... funny how that works. He "owns" me but doesn't "have" my love...

Posted 8 months ago #
bigheart_girl
Member

OK - so I have a new one to this list. It reminds me of how I felt going into my marriage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uY1ahFCYT5k

Cath...
She stands with a well intentioned man
But she can't relax with his hands on the small of her back
As the flashbulbs burst she holds a smile
Like someone would hold a crying child

Soon everybody will ask what became of you
Your heart was dying fast and you didn't know what to do

Cath...
It seems that you live in someone else's dream
In a hand-me-down wedding dress
With the things that could have been are repressed
But you said your vows and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more

Soon everybody will ask what became of you
Your heart was dying fast and you didn't know what to do
The whispers that it won't last roll up and down the pews
And if our hearts were dying that fast, they would have done the same as you
I'd have done the same as you

this is another one I can relate to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob-EoFKAl6w

I've got a hunger
Twisting my stomach into knots
That my tongue was tied off

My brain's repeating
"if you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth.

Baa bah, this is the sound of settling
Baa bah, baa bah
[x2]

Our youth is fleeting
Old age is just around the bend
And i can't wait to go grey

And i'll sit and wonder
Of every love that could've been
If i'd only thought of something charming to say.

Baa bah, this is the sound of settling
Baa bah, baa bah

Posted 7 months ago #
purplelily
Member

getting into country a little lately, here is a good one: Lady Antebellum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4lWolUeQ-0&feature=related

"All We'd Ever Need"

Boy it's been all this time
And I can't get you off my mind
And nobody knows it but me

I stare at your photograph
Still sleep in the shirt you left
And nobody knows it but me

Everyday I wipe my tears away
So many nights I've prayed for you to say

[Chorus]
I should've been chasing you
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
I should've said all the things that I kept inside of me
And maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had was all we'd ever need

My friends think I'm moving on
But the truth is I'm not that strong
And nobody knows it but me

And I've kept all the words you said
In a box underneath my bed
And nobody knows it but me

But if you're happy I'll get through somehow
But the truth is that I've been screaming out

Posted 7 months ago #
dancing.star
Member

This is our song in the beginning of our relationship:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MybU7Sqm2E

Something about us - Daft Punk

It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
But there's something about us I want to say
Cause there's something between us anyway

I might not be the right one
It might not be the right time
But there's something about us I've got to do
Some kind of secret I will share with you

I need you more than anything in my life
I want you more than anything in my life
I'll miss you more than anyone in my life
I love you more than anyone in my life

This is a song he sent me when he decided to give his marriage another try (it lasted 9 days):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rxxR8frszs

For you - Tracy Chapman

No words to say
No words to convey
This feeling inside I have for you

Deep in my heart
Safe from the guards
Of intellect and reason
Leaving me at a loss
For words to express my feelings

Deep in my heart
Deep in my heart
Look at me losing control
Thinking I had a hold
But with feelings this strong
I'm no longer the master
Of my emotions

This is what I sent him in response:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9SpX64g84U

If Not Now - Tracy Chapman

If not now then when
If now today then
Why make your promises
A love declared for days to come
Is as good as none

You can wait 'til morning comes
You can wait for the new day
You can wait and lose this heart
You can wait and soon be sorry

Now love's the only thing that's free
We must take it where it's found
Pretty soon it may be costly

If now now what then
We all must live our lives
Always feeling
Always thinking
The moment has arrived

----------------------------------------------------------------

And this is just the song that was playing a thousand times a day in the radio, wherever we were, and we would just start singing and dancing together..
Now, he took it to another level and keeps teeling me to meet him halfway.. Oh Gosh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGyTFWoMQHA

I can't go any further then this
I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish

I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day yes, I'm really missin' missin' you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl, what's up, it use to be just me and you
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day, yes I'm really missin missin you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up

Meet me halfway, right at the boarderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Girl, I travel round the world and even sail the seven seas
Across the universe I go to other galexies
Just tell me where you want, just tell me where you wanna to meet
I navigate myself myself to take me where you be
Cause girl I want, I, I, I want you right now
I travel uptown (town) I travel downtown
I wanna to have you around (round) like every single day
I love you alway... way

Can you meet me half way (I'll meet you halfway)
Right at the boarderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Let's walk the bridge, to the other side
Just you and I (just you and I)
I will fly, I'll fly the skies, for you and I (for you and I)
I will try, until I die, for you and I, for you and I, for for you and I,
For for you and I, for for you and I, for you and I

Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Can you meet me half way (yup yup)
Meet me half way, right at the boarderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Posted 7 months ago #
bigheart_girl
Member

Good ones dancing.star. Nice way to have a conversation with lyrics. My X and I used to do the same.

These are the two that he would send me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nqRkAsZumc
(looking back this confirms my belief that he was in love with the way I made him feel)

"Meet me in outerspace
I will hold you close, If you're afraid of heights
I need you to see this place, It might be the only way
That I can show you how, it feels to be inside of you"

and this one when he realized that it wouldn't last, I think:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGcPJooXT1o

"Just for a minute
The silver forked sky
Lit you up like a star
That I will follow

Now it's found us
Like I have found you
I don't want to run
Just overwhelm me"

and this is the way that I feel now:

"What if this storm ends?
And I don't see you
As you are now
Ever again"

that song rings so true.

Posted 7 months ago #

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