OK….I’ve almost wrote this so many times….this time I need to finish it cause I need to hear your thoughts…
And, before I get started…I’ve been reading some posts and yea my OM knows me better in 6 months than my HB of 16 years….why? my OM says it’s because he actually listens when I talk…and I believe it.
And And, one more thing….Thank God for this site…I was so pent up and ready to burst before I found this site…then I was able to put it all out on paper and it helped me figure the entire mess out…well not completely, but for that time it did…which is why I’m back!
Ok, you know my story, if not you can read it from my original post….didn’t know what to do so I decided I would sit back and just watch things….and my HB is jumping through hoops like I’ve never seen…you can tell he feels threatened, but has no idea why…but in his current state, he’s doing things like he’s never done before…he’s never ever cooked a meal…in the last two months, he’s cooked almost every meal…he makes sure my car has gas, he makes the bed, he cleans up the bathroom when he leaves it…he warms my car every day, the list is never ending… I keep telling my OM that he’ll wear down and it will all stop and that’s when I’ll tell him it’s just not working out….that was two months ago, and my HB hasn’t slowed down…as a matter of fact, he thinks of new things to do for me all the time. My HB don’t watch TV no more….he’s up and asking me what he can do to help me or he’s hanging out with me while I cook or whatever…when me and my OM hooked up, we were sending over 500 messages an evening…I would do good to get off 10 now…and yea, I have fallen back in love with my HB…he is a good man and has proven that he would do anything for me…but I do owe it all to my OM……..funny thing, when me and my OM initially started talking, I told him that I was watching tv one day and they said ‘find out how to save your marriage’…coming up…well at the time my HB was not happy with our marriage, but he always said if I gave him more, we’d get along more…to which I always responded if you would treat me better, you’d get more….so when that came on the tv he looked at me and said here comes the preacher saying give it up 7 days in a row….I said we’ll see…and low and behold….it said the #1 way to save a marriage….an affair! So as soon as I could text, I told my OM…we’re just trying to save our marriages! And now I sit here and say whoa….I think that’s what he’s done for me….
When I look at things realistically, I’ve got a good job, my kids are in LA with me…my family in CO is in shambles right now, death in the family last year is really taking a toll…so I think it’s good for me to be away from them…I’ve always been just fine here living on my own, well with my family, not my entire family….i’ve got a good husband, who loves me…..
I’ve hinted to my OM that things are getting a lot better at home….to which he sends me flowers and gifts and tells me how his life will not be a life without me in it….that he’s lived without me for 30 years and he can’t take another minute without me…I’ve told him that I love him and I do believe that I do….but it’s not a love that is so strong that I would leave my husband for. My OM is waiting for me to leave my husband and I don’t think that’s going to happen….how do I tell him that? When we first started talking, my OM told me he has a 12 year old daughter and a 15 year old son that he has to finish raising….then he left his wife and started the divorce…now he’s gotten back into his home, but he is ready and has said that he would leave his family and move to LA to be with me so that maybe it would be harder for me not to leave….how do I tell him that I find it disgusting that he’d leave his kids? He tells me all the time I’m the true love of his life and he’s always known it…he’s sent me so many ‘soul mate’ plaques and pictures….. I’m kinda concerned what he might do if I tell him I’ve made a decision, and he’s not it….he knows everything about me….