it seems that the more you lie, the more you need to lie, the more you can lie better.
honestly how honest can we be with our lovers? we are both liars towards our spouses and can we actually trust each other as we would like to?
sometimes i think i deserve the 'best actress' award at the oscars for the amount of act im putting on each day...bad joke i know.
im just amazed at how many lies i have to tell on a regular basis, not really enjoying it but necessary to keep up with the life im having now.
We are all liars...
(6 posts) (5 voices)-
Posted 6 months ago #
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Yes, of course we are.....All of us are pretty good liars. And yes, there is a contradiction in that we expect honesty and integrity from our EMA partner -- on the foundation of something built on lies and deceit.
Heck, I feel COMPLETELY betrayed by my former EMA partner. She's pretty much broken every promise she ever made to me. REPEATEDLY and VEHEMENTLY. Words all hollow. She lied to him, she lied to me.
how could I possibly trust her ever again? How can ANY of us trust an EMA partner? Someone who is as good at lying as we are?
Oh? Because "WE ARE DIFFERENT!! I KNOW HIM/HER!! WE LIE TO OUR SPOUSES BUT NOT EACH OTHER!!"
uh-huh.
Posted 6 months ago # -
it is scary i know, to have promises broken. how people can turn away from their promises so easily.
i guess the side effect of being a liar ourselves will make us less trusting towards others.
the last part you posted is a nice revelation to us all liars 'we lie to our spouses but not each other!'Posted 6 months ago # -
I agreed! I was a person who can easily trust the others because I was always surrounded by love, friendship and trust in the past. But as soon as I started my EMA, I was hesitate to believe him, or even myself. It is ironic, how can a pure love relationship built up on a cheating situation? Can we really trust each other? I don't know! I don't know if he trust my love neither! That's why I feel so sad sometimes. I can feel, sometimes, he takes my serious statements as jokes.
Posted 6 months ago # -
90% yes, 10% no... Or something to that effect, lol
torchforRA - I like your entire last sentence BTW... Things that make ya go hmm...
I am one of those who feels that if you have the perfect recipe for an affair, you're going to make the damn pie. Just about ANYONE has the ability to cheat, plain and simple, simple as pie. And you would be surprized to find out some dark secrets of others...
So many reasons for affairs... SO DAMN MANY! Some are more naturally suited, some are purely sex based, some are just plain serial occurances, and some are strictly emotional, ect... Different situations, OMG it never ends!
Lying, well some of us are truly gifted with it, and some are not. It's such a fine line we walk to begin with, but everyone lies and the few of us that don't are most likely the small percentage that would never have an affair, even if it was right there in front of their face.
Both my OM and I have a HUGE problem with lying to our spouses. That's one of the reasons why I seperated from my HB. I think I'm ultimately more open with my OM than he is with me, but he's coming along. He never placed much faith in anyone so this is new for him to have someone like me in his life. Ironically we don't expect honesty, so it's kind of weird that we're getting it... This is just the strangest thing that has ever happened!!! We're friends first though, and that makes a difference.
You get out of it what you place into it. If you're looking for honesty then an EMA is probably not for you... Unless you're in the VERY small percentage.
Hey, crazier things have happened!
Posted 6 months ago # -
I couldn't lie to my HB either, findingMYway .. that's why I separated too.. it helped that we always did communicate about everything... in fact I still talk to him more than the OM after a year !! I worry as he has some emotional problems and could shift and tell someone. So I am not lying myself, but am involved in one. The OM has had a real issue with the honesty factor and was almost paranoid to a crazy degree about being found out... I was wondering was his partner some sort of psycho - actually I think a lot of the fear is what the family will think, self image, how his children will view him etc he is actually quite a traditional person in values despite other very untraditional traits ... I think that is what wrecks my head .. his guilt and fear ... Not a great way to start a relationship. ..... but no I 'm not going back to HB ... prefer being alone.
I suppose I would prefer total honesty but realize that some innocent people will get hurt in that, but is that worse than finding out later that an affair had been going on in secret ?
Posted 6 months ago #
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