Hey Everyone, I've been reading some postings over the last week or so and agree with many sentiments about things that have been happening. But today I needed to vent about something that has nothing to do with my EMA - my husband. I don't know why I even continue to expect anything from him, but anyway, let me tell you a little about our life. This is my second marriage (first EMA), I have four children from my first marriage and one child from this one. The oldest two boys live away from us attending school, but the three youngest lives with us - two girls and a boy. They are fairly young, not even teenagers yet. Point one is that my husband seems to have not connected with two of these children living with us as yet and I figure if not after six years then WHEN!!!!!! He has issues with them one way or another and its really starting to strain the relationship on a whole new level. He says I'm too easy on them and I think he believes they are living in a military boot camp. So this alone is making me think things may be on the way out, nothing to do with the EMA. My other issue is how he does NOTHING to help me when it comes to day to day activities at home. We both have pretty good jobs and make pretty good money. I however made the decision long ago that my children wouldn't be raised by a nanny. So while they do go to an afterschool spot until I'm through with work, I take care of getting dinner made, getting them bathed and changed for bed, doing homework with them, etc. He helps out a lot with this - where our child is concerned, but the other two, he does nothing for them. So while I am a senior manager in a very busy retail environment, I still come home in the evenings to make dinner like I said, deal with the kids, do the dishes and tidy up the house (I have someone that comes in twice a week to do major cleaning and some other stuff). So my frustration starts to build on Saturday gone...my company had a major promo happening that day and I went in to work to measure certain targets I had set, I was gone til about 3 the afternoon (having arranged for my two children to spend the day out on playdates) and left my hb at home with our child. Lo and behold, and to no surprise, I get home - tired - and find that the living room is strewn with toys, there are a ton of dishes in the sink....why doesn't he help out just a little?? I'm not a housewife with tons of time on my hands - even housewives don't have as much time on their hands these days. Why do I feel like I'm doing everything myself? Why doesn't he even try to understand me? Sorry, needed to get it out.....
Need to vent...
(2 posts) (2 voices)-
Posted 6 months ago #
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Memories.. I"m with you as well.. This is my 2nd marriage as well and I have 4 kids, hb has 3 kids. At the beginning I had 2 of my kids living with us and his son. my other 2 lived with their father.. It was very hard in the beginning, as I was the one that spoiled the kids and he was the drill sargent. It did get to a point that I was on the phone getting a place for me and my 2 girls after a huge fight about stupid stuff (around our 5th year) and once he realized that I was serious we talked about it and we decided that I would discipline my kids and he would discpline his son. We did want to have a child of our own and now that I think about it I'm so glad it didn't happen. I'm sure we would have been divorced by now.
Things have calmed down, I do what I do with my kids and if he even says anything I just tell him I'll never change so just accept it.
I even said a few days ago when the dishes were piled up in the sink and the dishwasher was clean about how many more days it would take for ANYONE to take care of that.
anytime you need to vent go ahead I'm sure there are others out there that can relate
Here's a *hug*
Posted 6 months ago #
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